Crazy Horse

By Shimatoree

I  have been asked  as to why I  am using my blog for the issues having to do with the injustice towards women ?

The answer to that question lies in the screams of all those young girls who had to be the ceremonial sacrificial objects since times immeorial.

If the Nile did not flood , sacrifice the most beautiful girl and whamo- the Nile floods !

If there is a volcanic eruption – let us stop it by throwing a beautiful girl into it as it wants sacrifice !

And in ancient West Asia, young girls were burried alive next to their dead fathers as a sacrifice to the gods and goddesses of the tribes !

 

But on to Arranged Marriage for now.

It is said that a society should be judged by how it treats it’s weak and downtrodden.

It is also said that the customs of marriage tell a lot about the functioning of a society and the ethics that are prevalent in it’s every day functioning.

The institution of arranged marriage if it can be called that not only deals with the downtrodden  and the weak but also helps create them to some extent.

There are the intrigues , deceptions and machinations that one sees in political wheeling and deal are practiced in arranged marriages to the Nth degree .

And they are done by those that say they are only there to help prevent marital problems in the future.

So we will look into this matter with the idea to throw whatever limited light on a subject, which has not been examined in a public forum such as this.

In Pakistan and in India the custom of parents arranging the marriage of their children is the norm.

And this norm is imposed in a most ruthless fashion on the youth when they become of  marriageable age .

If you have any doubts just ask a young person who has tried to go against it.

It is said- (by the parents and the defenders of this system)- that the young people are better off in this system, which is supposed to be guided by the objectivity , foresight, experience and the wisdom of the older generation. The older generation is supposed to be UN-BIASED .

The selection is supposed to be made objectively and without  the emotions that infect the young; that it is without  the influence of the hormonal upsurges of the young.

This  might be true some where some time but is obviously not quite the case as this whole exercise is about power – even if it means power over their own children and their future lives.

We will try to look at all aspects of this most  interesting and intriguing phenomenon.

We shall do this by discussing the anatomy- (supposed planning and structure etc) and the physiology- (how it works or does not work in real life both in the short term and the long term)-.

We shall also use a few brief CASE reports to illustrate the real stories of individuals –( both male and female)-who have gone through this process and their perspectives after the fact.

Well, the social milieu is constantly changing and evolving for the immigrant community- (in Europe and North America)- where large groups of people –( from South Asia)-have been placed in what can best be described as an alien environment.

It was as though a group of people have been moved forward in time –( and in space)-while retaining all there past habits and customs. There is reluctance on the part of everyone to change and esp.: so in such profound issues such as the methodology of choosing your partner for life.

In the days gone by when most people lived in villages the immediate family arranged the marriage of a young boy or a girl. The young boy and girl knew each other since village community was small. Because of the issue of ownership of land the emphasis was on finding a mate for your son or daughter, which would not cause problems, having to do with possible division of land and property. That is why you always wanted your son to be married to the daughter from the boy’s mother’s family and so on. This tradition still prevails in the tribes of Northwest Pakistan even though quite a lot of these people have shifted to the urban areas.

In the cities let us examine how the boy’s family goes about finding a mate for their son.

They let it be known that they are in the “ market” for the purpose. The friends and the “ barbers” etc provide the information about potential “ brides” and a process of examination starts.

Now a days , the frequent use of the Ads in the newspapers and web sites is being made  by placing WANT Ads

They check the family of the girl first as to the class , the tribe; religious back ground, wealth status etc.  The mother and the sisters of the boy go and check out the  girl and her family.

This is how they go about finding the ideal bride for their son.

Is she meek and submissive ?

(The first quality mentioned here is not by accident. I have interviewed many families and THAT is the most sought after quality in a potential bride. When asked as to why, the answer without fail is- “ it helps in promoting a good and peaceful environment in marriage”.)

Is she good looking?

Is she well educated?

Is she a nice and polite person?

Is she conservative in her attire and manners etc?

Is she a good cook?

After this preliminary investigation- assuming they like the girl they go to the next stage where they find out through their “ sources” about the menstrual cycle of the girl and as to what sort of moods and temperaments she has while in this stressed phase of her life. They do that because they think that a properly menstruating girl has a good chance to produce offspring.

After the girl has been cleared after all this investigation, then a formal proposal is made to the girl’s family and her hand is asked. This might be simply in the form of a request to the girl’s parents or a meeting of the two protagonists is arranged either at home or at a restaurant or such place. This is the second filter-( so to say) that is applied to get the right person to qualify.

Either at this stage or earlier  the investigation of the boy and his family is started by the girl’s family. They obviously want to know about the boy himself, his character, his temperament and his profession and his ability to make a living after being married.

In different parts of Pakistan this part of the scrutiny is done in a different manner.

In the NWFP- ( Pushtoons) the girl’s family is usually in the dominant position and the boy’s family has to provide everything in terms of dowry and expenses for the wedding and sometimes to the well known practice of having to pay “ BRIDE PRICE”.

In Punjab and other parts of Pakistan-( and in India)- it appears to be the other way around where the boy’s family is in a dominant position where the girl’s family provides the dowry and marriage expenses etc.

Once the basic agreement to have such a marriage is made- then a lot can happen.

What sort of things happens?

Try to imagine negotiations between political parties and their leaders. Go betweens are utilized to the maximum to extract concessions-( usually from the girl’s family but can be other way around) .

The question might be asked “ what is to be done “ ?

And if not this system then what ?

Should the South Asian community adopt the free for all system that prevails in the Wild West where divorce rates are high.

And the reason for a LOW divorce rate in Pakistan is NOT because every husband and wife are living happily. Anyone who has one iota of honesty in their blood knows that.  The divorce rate would be a lot higher in Pakistan if the women were not economic  slaves of their husbands and the social slaves of the extended families.( and tribes).

I would like to suggest that a two tier filter  application of the ARRANGED MARRIAGE  is probably the best way possible with the elimination of the influence of the “CROCODILES” on the lives of the newly weds.

Oh by Crocodiles I mean the mother In laws and sister in laws who expect this new “ slave” to keep in mind who is the REAL boss !

THAT will be illustrated in the various case reports.

Case # 1.

I am 30 years old mother of 3 and my marriage was arranged by my parents. That in itself is not important but what sort of chances and choices I went through will make interesting reading.

The first boy whose parents asked for my hand in marriage was the brother of my brother in law- (sister’s husband). I did not like my brother in law, as he was a lazy fat person who came from a wealthy family. When I became aware of this approach, I tried to find out as to who this boy was. I found out that he was in America and was studying to be an engineer. Those made me happy as I thought that I would have an educated husband and educated husbands are usually kinder and gentler towards their wives. I also thought that I would get to go to America and thus escape from the shackles of the mother in law and sister in law. I let my dreams run amok. My brother who is in Europe was told by my parents to find out about this boy.

My brother went to see him in Chicago.  My brother had great difficulty finding him at first. Then he finally located him but the boy was unwilling to see my brother. Well, my brother found out where he lived and just went there.

What he found was that this boy was working at two jobs- oh not engineering jobs but at Pizza Hut and at a dry cleaner service shop.

Well, my parents were not too happy to hear that. But the boy got very angry and cancelled the proposal because he said my parents had not trusted his word and checked up on him. I sort of felt bad but took a sigh of relief at having escaped.

A few weeks later another mother of a boy came to see me at my parents house. Well they liked me and asked for my hands in marriage. My parents said they would think about it and reply in a few days. This boy was also in America, in a place called Los Angeles. They told us that he was an engineer who was teaching at the university. He had his own house and car.

My parents called a friend to check and we found that this boy was working as an air-conditioning technician and as a teller in a bank. He did not have a house nor did he have a car. He was living with three of his brothers in a 2 bedroom apartment and the reason they wanted him to get married was because they needed someone to clean the house and cook their meals.

And they also got very angry at being found out. But thank God I again escaped. I thought I was a lackey person. After a few more close encounters of this kind, I got married to my husband who was a major in Pakistan Army in a tank regiment. After we got married, I was told to stay with my mother in law- (and her four sons and their wives). When I wanted to go with my husband I was told that since I was a good looking girl that would create problems in my husband’s job with his senior officers.

After 6 months my husband resigned from the Army and got a civilian job but we still live with his extended family. All my dreams and fantasies of being with my husband alone were dashed.

Of course the greatest shock was yet to come. My husband belongs to this Tableeghee Jumaat and everyday after work he goes for Tableegh and returns at 11 PM or later. When I expressed my concerns I was told that it was a sin to complain about such Islamic work.

So my luck did not turn out to be very good after all. But now I have my children and I am happy to be with them as they are my best friends.

Case # 2

I am 32 years old  , weigh 150 lbs and am 5 feet 11 inches tall .

By profession I am a computer programmer/engineer. I have a very well paying job and make good money. My parents wanted me to get married and since our family is both conservative and religious, arranged marriage was the way to go, I was told.

After we contacted many “ candidate’s” families, their one request was that they wanted to meet me. After I met with them, every time as though someone had thrown cold water over the whole thing and the matters ended.

My parents and I could not understand the reason till one day they decided to ask and they were informed that I “looked” a lot older than my age of 32 and that it was because I was becoming bald in the front part of my head !

Well, what to do. My parents talked with a lot of their friends and one of them was a doctor who advised that I should have a hair transplant like Nawaz Shareef. So far I have spent 53000 dollars on hair transplants and my scalp has some hair though it looks more like some vegetation in a desert !  Finally I got sick of this and decided to use my tech skills and thinking to achieve my goal. I will still use the two FILTER step that arranged marriage provides but I have reversed the order of the filters. So I have started chatting with girls on the matrimonial sites and hopefully I can meet my life’s partner. Once I find the right person, then my parents will look into her family and other stuff-( 2^nd Filter) and if they approve, then I will go ahead and get married.

I think with modernization of the society, the appearance of the girl was very important in selection of candidate for marriage now is equally important in selection of the man for marriage. The use of information technology in this business of arranged marriage is going to play a vital role in the future.

Discussion _

The phenomenon of arranged marriage has been affecting the lives of billions in the South Asian Sub-continent.

I am sure it will continue to do that.

How it will affect the lives of the ex-patriot South Asians in Europe and North America is a topic, which requires great deal of study and research. Suffice it to say that the ghost of arranged marriage will continue to haunt the South Asians for a long time to come.

We will be adding more case reports as well as a detailed discussion as soon as I am able to finish.

By Annonymous

When the first half of this essay ended I had left the issue of ethics and morality till later. This very idea might seem strange that we would like to ask a prostitute about morals- (and ethics) who by definition is doing what the society considers immoral.

But the reason behind this mode of questioning is to try to find the human being behind the face of a prostitute and to intrude on her thoughts, which she does not get to share with most of her customers or her managers.

I simply brought the topic of morality and asked her to comment on that. Once I had asked the first question – I pretty much left her to speak at length.

Here it is.

Have you ever thought about the immoral nature of your

Work.

This is a very strange question.

To ask a known prostitute about the morality of the business.

Everyone knows or thinks that they know that prostitution is immoral.

But when you ask me that question in such a specific manner-

I must ask you could you define immorality or for that matter what is morality anyway?

It is said that all morality comes from religion and we are told that Islam our religion forbids prostitution.

But I would like to ask one more question before I go forward.

The Shia faction says that Islam permits Muta’a or temporary marriage which other Muslims call legalized prostitution and thus immoral from a religious standpoint.

(A lot of the prostitutes claim that they are Shia and they therefore do not consider this activity immoral from their own version of religion.)

And may I ask why is it that only the prostitutes (women) are held to be immoral and no such indictments are leveled at their customers? Shouldn’t they be considered as immoral as those women that they go to?

If we accept prostitution to be immoral- is there anything else that is also immoral and about which society gets upset and angry?

Is poverty immoral?

Are those that cause and exploit the poor for profit immoral?

Is the death of a child who cannot get medicine due to poverty immoral?

If it is and I feel it certainly is- then are we willing to blame and hold accountable those that have it in their power to prevent that from happening.

In a country where every day a lot of people go hungry- are those that are having feasts in their If tar parties immoral in the same manner as the prostitutes?

Are those that cause people to kill in the name of religion as immoral as a prostitute?

Or those that use human beings as slave labor in the brick kilns in Pakistan?

Or those that exploit other’s hard work for their own profit while paying them little immoral too?

Are the big landlords who use the dirt farmers and their families to do the work and grow the crops while the landlord get all the money from the crops.

And when politicians who get elected by the voters by promising them all kinds of stuff and then steal the people’s money and stash it away in foreign banks– is that considered as immoral as prostitution?

So I would venture to say that to call prostitution immoral might be OK but it is just one of the many immoral activities which our Islamic society in Pakistan tolerates and accepts as a way of life.

And I have just mentioned only a few of those. So the issue is not whether prostitution is immoral but what is not?

And what about the immorality of the society itself when it looks at women and men in a different way when it comes to sex. Everyone expects their wife to be a Virgin but is that also expected and prized in a man? I do not think so.

As to the subject of repeated sex for profit – well it is just like any work where you do the same thing again and again.

It is no different than making carpets for the weavers or making doors and windows for a carpenter and so on.

Instead of using cotton threads or wood we use one anatomic part of our body again and again to make a living and it must be emphasized that we make a living in the only way it is possible for us to do so. I do not have any other options left to me. If I go a leave this profession and try to find a job somewhere- who do you think will knowingly let me work in their factory or other place of business. Unfortunately in our society the technique of character assassination is practiced against women anyway quite often- even against women who are not prostitutes.

And it did on purpose and by design.

And it damages the woman forever. How moral is that?

And as to the issue of sex- it is the only biological activity of human beings that is taboo and is frowned upon in our as well as other societies.

And it is a biological activity for sure. And while providing this service to our customers we do put ourselves in danger because of sexually transmitted diseases but that is part of doing this business.

And now how to prevent this activity called prostitution.  I do not think that in the social dynamics of today’s world that is possible. Just look at the population explosion alone. Add the fact that when you are talking about women- you are talking about HALF a Human Being. We are de-valued the day we are born even in the hearts of our parents and grand parents.

It seems odd that I – a prostitute -am supposed to provide the answer to that question.

First and foremost you have to accept one simple fact.

And that is some people- both men and women just like this activity just like some people like playing cricket.

So you cannot do anything about this group.

About the rest- the simple answer is that they should be provided economic where with all to live and then certainly they would not be forced into this activity.

You would have to dismantle the so to say, “ infra structure” of prostitution-

The agents who kidnap the poor girls and then sell them to the madams;

The pimps who are the commission agents;

The landlords of the houses where this business is conducted.

And a very effective way would be to educate every girl everywhere in the country without her parent’s ability or capacity to pay for the education. It is unlikely that an educated girl would become a prostitute because she can make a living and she can have respect and honor. But all of this just talks for the same of talk and to make one feel better. It has very little possibility of working out. How can someone who is on the outside of the world of prostitution even beginning to understand the torment and experiences that we go through in our wretched lives? You are born and raised in a social milieu and are given a set of values and therefore you think that any other system of value is abnormal. And as yet you who know nothing about me want to bring me back into your world and transform me back to the clean, pristine and moral world.

Do you know what poverty does to poor people?

The father of a family must go in order to give dal and bread to his wife and children. And every day his family worries if he will return or if he will come back with no bread and no dal. This goes on for years and has the expected impact on the minds of the kids and that effect is not good. And yet the same society, which creates these conditions, wants them to grow up to be kind, humane and moral and religious people. Do you see what I am trying to say?

If you wish to end prostitution- you have to end poverty first.

And you have to stop the exploitation of the poor by the rich and powerful.

Can you do that?

You say NO. I had thought so too.

I spoke with a psychiatrist once and this is what he told me.

Women are monogamous by nature. They wish to restrict their sexual relationships to just one man and they want to own him from an emotional standpoint. That is what women want. So prostitution is the very antithesis of womanhood.

And no matter what religion might or might not say about polygamy- from every woman’s standpoint it is immoral.

What do I think about prostitutes?

We are the equivalent of the pipes under ground that carry and convey the rubbish and sewage of the society. The sewage is rotten and smells bad but it comes from the society. It does not come from Mars.

What will happen to you when you get old ?

Of course everyone does get old as time stops for no one.

And for prostitutes time travels very fast indeed. I am just about in the sunset of my life already.

Prostitutes are discarded like a used sanitary napkin.

This is a very harsh business . There is no retirement or pension or such.

We do not have a provident fund or a savings account .

Once we get old, no one wants us and so we depend for our food and shelter on the kindness of those that have used us for all of our lives.

Like everything else in life, some of the managements are humane and some are not.

But we are no differences in this for us  than any other segment of society .

In our society the older people who happen to be poor are not treated very well and that is quite well established and well known .

Also whatever is bad for everyone is always much worse for women and to think of despised  and hated women such as a prostitute- it is hell.

But to get back to the question of getting old – in Pakistan if you are poor it is very bad and it can only be described as shameless .

But how can we talk about old people when we live in a society where the new born poor have no better treatment.

A Prostitute Speaks!

By Anonymous.

I talked with a middle-aged prostitute in her mid forties in Islamabad, Pakistan. My purpose in the conversation was two fold.

First:  to find out as to why do they indulge in this notorious and despised profession?

Second:  to learn all aspects of this trade from a multi-faceted and analytical standpoint.

Here is the first half. The second part will be presented next week here on Crazy Horse.

WARNING !  All OFF topic comments face application of the Rules.

______________________________________________________________________.

Q-   Do you ever regret what you do for a living?

P; It is not really a regret   but sometimes a wish and yearning for having had a normal life like everyone else does cause a problem.

Q- Go on complete your thought process.

P; Well, I used to yearn for all the things that a young girl yearns for.

A good and loving husband. Children.

You know everything that everyone on the outside of my world has like respect etc. This is what I do not have and probably can never have.

Q- How old are you?

P;  I am 42 years old. Why that looks? You don’t believe me!

Q- No it is not that. It is just that you just look much older than that. But that is not important for this interview. Let me ask you my next question. Are you a Muslim?

P; I think so. I do pray perhaps not  5 times a day but close. But what difference does that make to my way of life. After all -all women are the same from an anatomic standpoint and I doubt very much that our customers are interested in what our religion is or should be. When you go to buy a melon- do you ask THEM what their religion is?

Q- I have to utilize my time for the purpose that I am here. So I am not going to answer any of your questions- but that does not mean you should not ask them. I would actually like you to ask any and all questions that come to your mind but just do not expect any answers.

How did you end up in this mess anyway?

P;  I was kidnapped and given to the Madame here in Heera Mundi . I assume you can say that I was sold, as my kidnappers did not do it for free.

Q-. Are you saying that you were actually sold into this profession if it can be called a profession?

P; yes that is what I am saying. You are not naïve enough to think that anyone comes into this profession willingly and by design or by request.

Q- No that was not my intention. I was just shocked to know that slavery is still practiced here in this Muslim country.

P; Oh yes. And in many ways too. People just do not wish to know about it.

Q- let us start the talk about the moral issue. Anyone and everyone if you ask about prostitution will say it is immoral. What do you think about that point of view?

P; if we are going to discuss that… Well I would prefer not to discuss that.

Q- When I had asked for this interview I was asked for payment for your time and I paid I might say paid well.

I was asked why did I wish to spend two hours with you alone and when I told them that I wished to ask questions-

I was told that all my questions would be answered.

And it is not I who asked specifically for you but the Madame who selected you as the person I should be with.

So the deal is that you will answer all my questions no matter how uncomfortable or how unpleasant.

If you feel that you do not wish to do that- then I must speak with your Madame and ask for my money back

P; Oh no no. Please do not do that. I will answer.

Q- why are you crying?

P; You see even this rather simple question from you makes me come face to face with my life’s helplessness. But I will be OK and so can you please repeat your question.

Q- do you ever think about the immorality of your work.

P; I used to but not anymore. When I was younger – every man I met for the short period of time that they were with me made me feel moral. Why because I was honest in expressions of my feelings towards them.

But when they left I felt bad and very depressed and you might say immoral.

As time has passed – the periods of feeling good have become fewer and fewer and the periods of depression become many more and last longer.

Q- do you take any medicine for depression?

P; No.

Q- why?  There are doctors and psychiatrists. They can prescribe medications, which can deal with this sort of problem.

P; Oh! You are so simple minded.

How can I run away from the cause of depression, which is what I do and me.

Q- then why don’t you stop it.

P; Well you do have a point but let ME ask you a question.

How will I feed myself?

Where will I live? Will someone give me shelter?

I think you know the answers to that.

Q- so does it mean that what you do is to make a living; pure and simple.

P; you can call it that though I would not label it simple.

It is far more complicated.

Q- let us talk about the actual work which is to sleep and have sex with men.

P; you are wrong. There is no sleeping.

There is just Sex and it is sort of an assembly line operation.

Every evening it starts around 8 PM and I usually end up having to provide sexual pleasure to about 6-8 men by the time it is 5 AM when the work ends.

Q- Go on tell me about the encounters.

P; Some one comes, we go into the room, the door closes. Most of the men here in Lahore are nervous and in a rush- they want to undress and get the matter going and get it over with. And then they are gone as most of them feel guilty and bad after it is over and I become the person who made them do the bad act.  I have to take a shower, clean up, put on make up and lip stick, perfume etc and get ready for the next customer and so it goes. But I would like to ask you why all this curiosity on your part?

Q- I am the one to ask the questions but to answer your curiosity- I want to learn about all aspects of this business- can I call it a business? I hope you would not mind.

P; Oh yes it is a business no doubt. There is work, management, labor, profit etc etc.

Q- after you are done with the session for one night- then what do you do.

P; Wash up, eat and go to bed and sleep. And that goes on year round.

Q- do you ever get tired of doing this.

P; Yes but I have to produce. I am like an egg laying chicken. I got to lay eggs because if I do not- then you know what happens to those chickens, which stop laying eggs.

Q- why did you use the metaphor of chicken?

P; that is how helpless I feel.

Q- Are all the men that come to see you the same?

P- No.

Q- how are they different?

P; some are young. Now that I am experienced the Madame often sends them to me.

Q- why?

P; because I am patient and they need someone who is patient with them as often they are very nervous and anxious.

You see we want them to keep coming back for more. We are investing in them and they are our future customers. What do we invest you ask?

We invest time, care and compassion.

I know you are laughing at me using the word compassion but we do have compassion for them the same way as a shoe salesman has when he fits the shoes for a child or a young person.

Q- and where do the older men sent to.

P; to the younger girls who need kindness and patience. They did that with me when I was young and even though at that time I did not like it in the beginning but with the passage of time I came to know the wisdom of that policy.

Q- Anything else you can tell me about that aspect of things?

P; Some are fat, some are skinny; some are clean and very fastidious and other are dirty and filthy.

Some are kind and gentle and I might say even caring while others are obnoxious and violent and even insulting.

Q- does the management practice discrimination?

P; Yes they do. The usual basis is age, physical appearance and favorites of the Madame usually get the better deals in terms of the type of person you end up with for one given session.

Q; How do you deal with this discrimination?

P; I don’t deal with it well. But what can I do. I am in a place where the food and shelter is provided to me on me doing certain things that are asked of me.

Q- you seem a bit down?

P; that is normal for me.

Q- you mean to say this how you live day after day?

P; Yes

Q- can you tell anymore about this aspect of your life. Are there any times when you might say that you might be happy.

P; Well I do not know if you can call it happiness but let me tell you when I do not feel so bad.

When I meet a clean and sophisticated man who is kind and gentle- who talks with me as though I am a Human being- who discusses topics such as politics and poetry and music and esp.: if he looks at me with kindness and not the disdain and contempt that is the norm. For that hour or two I feel very happy but at the same time petrified knowing that this is only temporary and will pass soon and might not happen for quite a long time.

Q- Go on. I would like you to continue.

P; Ever since I have become a prostitute – those are the times that I live for. When I was young I used to imagine every time I met someone like that that my moments of joy and happiness would not end.

But they did end again and again.

Slowly I started to become cynical and as a result became sad even when I met men like that. Especially when I met men like that.

A time came when I went to the Madame and told her not to send men like that to me. Let them go to someone else. I wanted the whole thing to be mechanical and aseptic and clinical where there was no place for emotions of any kind- just work.

But after a while- I started yearning for those kinds of men again. And I thought if I cannot have a man of my own to love me for ever- at least I could have that same kind of man for a little time.

And that is how I have come to rationalize my existence now days. I live for those short and fleeting moments that don’t last for very long.

Q- and how do you deal with the men of the other type.

Those that are dirty, those that have a foul smell coming out of their mouths etc.

P; Well, I have no choice. I try to minimize the encounter and get the thing over with as fast as I can.

I simply function as a genital receptacle where they make their deposits and they must leave.

Q- and how do you deal with those that are or become violent.

P; I am helpless. I just let them do what they want to do within reason and then end the game.

The management protects us from such types but one cannot foresee everything so we as individuals have to improvise our own defense tactics.

Q- And what those

P; we permit them to beat us up. That is it. After all they are paying for that.

Q- Ok let us talk about a different sort of topic about your trade.  I had tried to talk about the moral issues before but you had become uncomfortable. So here we go again.

Do you ever think about the moral issues?

P; what exactly are you trying to ask me about morals. It is strange that you- an educated man is sacking a prostitute about morality here. Of course in everyone’s eyes what we do is immoral.

Q- I am not interested about everyone else. I already know that.

I wish to know what you think about the issue of immorality in this work that is your profession. You may go on.

P; I feel that we provide a needed service to the community and in a different way we also provide social stability to the families because of the family structure of the society.

Q- how do you mean?

P- Well do you ever think why we have such a large number of married men with families as our customers. And we do.

It is not because they are hyper sexed or such thing- they come to us to get what they are unable to get at home.

Q- and what is that?

P; Most people live in combined family systems. The husband cannot have any privacy with his wife at any time .Why? Because the In-laws are there and they frown upon any expression of affection amongst the married.

It is considered shameless.

Even those that have a room for themselves- they have to do whatever they do quietly because the mother-in-law might become aware of the action- so to say and the resultant verbal abuse that usually follows esp.: to the wife.

After a while of this – the wife becomes less cooperative and finally the husband looks for love and compassion elsewhere which means here. So we do provide a service, which is needed.

Q- We will take a break for tea or cofee and then we will continue.